Archive | October, 2013

Rainy Day Blues

31 Oct

Ugh…it’s been raining all day today!  Not so great for my motivation or those cute trick-or-treaters running around.

Actually, the rain is not the only reason I’ve been in a funk.  It’s been here for about a week or so.  I blame not getting enough sun.  Never mind the fact I don’t go outside much, but the sun just hasn’t been around.  It’s enough to drive a person to drink…

Don’t worry, I haven’t been doing any of that.  Maybe a glass of wine with dinner…MAYBE.  You can ask my hubby, he’ll tell ya.

Anyway, I finally broke some of the funk, even on this dreary day.  I’m making some lap quilts and finally got to cutting some of the fabric today.  The first one I’m making is a simple 9 square patchwork.  Pretty easy.  The second one I’m making is going to be this “Around the Corner” quilt from the Moda Bake Shop.  I’m uber excited about this one!  It’s a little more complicated, but doesn’t seem too hard.  It’ll just be a little more time consuming.

I’ve also got plans for some cute little ornaments I want to make.  I have a vision for them, but not quite sure how to execute quite yet.  I’ll just have to use that 30% off my entire purchase card I got from JoAnn’s.  Shoot.  Going to a craft store and buying stuff…sounds just terrible.  😉  Maybe that’ll help to get me out of my funk.

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Oh, What a Beautiful Morning!

8 Oct

Oh, what a beautiful day!

Today I was reminded this life isn’t about me.  It isn’t about what I want or what I think I need.  It’s about everyone else.  I lose sight of this oh so often!  I get caught up in the what-I-perceive-to-be negative about almost everything.  How is this effecting me?  Why didn’t they think of me?  How could they do this to me?

I’ve always been at my best when I’m serving others.  And I’ve had a hard time figuring out where I can do that here.  Before it was easy.  It was my job to serve others.  Whether it was waitressing or working at camp, someone else was always more important.  Now it seems it’s all about me.  How do I transfer my gifts of serving?  Where do I start?

The challenge today with the Less and More series is to serve just one other person today.  I have some ideas of what I’d like to do.  And I have to remember to have less fear and more courage as well.  It’s nice how all these days are building on each other!

What will you do today to serve someone else?

Less and More

4 Oct

A couple weeks ago I pinned an interesting looking blog series called “31 Days of Less & More”.  I really didn’t think much of it at the time and pushed it to the back of my mind.  Earlier today, I was on Facebook and a dear friend posted about the series and her blog post about Day 2.  As I read my friend’s post, I couldn’t stop my heart from jumping and my eyes from crying.

Day 2 is all about fear.  What we’re afraid of.  Why we’re afraid.  And what it means to be brave.  And it didn’t take me long to realize the feelings I’ve been having lately are almost all fear-related.

I decided to quit my job at the bank and stay at home.  It was great for the first week.  I didn’t feel the dread of having to get up at 5:30 am, be to work by 7:30 am and then spend the next 11 hours in an environment where I felt I didn’t help anyone with anything.  Sure, I ran people’s transactions and gave them their money, but it was not filling me.  I missed pouring myself into people.  And saw the opportunity to do that if I left the bank.  I could pour myself into my husband and our youth group.  I could pour myself into Lincoln and getting us healthy.  But as the days drifted on, less was getting done and I was feeling worse about leaving my job.

So now, let me tell you about my biggest fear: Not being able to have children.  And not just being able to give birth, but also not being able to ever adopt or foster.  And this fear lends itself to so many other fears.  Not being a good enough wife, not being a good enough person.  And when these fears weigh on me, I get sad and probably a little depressed.  And that just makes facing your fears even harder.

But the best part about this series is the encouraging “more” part.  Day 2 is also about courage.  Not just the, I’m-going-to-go-sky-diving-and-bungee-jumping, kind of courage.  The everyday, I’m-going-to-make-myself-better, kind of courage.  Which I think is sometimes harder.

How do I take my fear and become more courageous with it?  The answer to that question just leads to more fear.  Because, in all honesty, the hubs and I should probably start by going to see a doctor about not being able to conceive.  And that is TERRIFYING!  But it would also lead to starting on a path to getting answers.  And yes, they may be answers we don’t want to hear.  But we can then start the process of moving forward in whatever direction is best.

And until the hubs and I decide to move forward, I’ll tackle other smaller fears.  Like blogging.  Does anyone really read what’s going on here?  Would anyone care about the little things I love discovering and trying?  I guess I’ll never know until I try.  So come snuggle with me in my full size bed.  It’s bound to be a roller coaster of a ride!

Jenny Noelle

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