A rainy sort of day

24 Jul

It’s raining today.  Yippee!  This is only the second time we’ve had a good rain since we’ve moved to Wisconsin.  The grass is turning green; the air has that wonderful rain smell.  It’s a great day to have the windows open and listen to the rain drop onto the leaves and the birds sing a happy song.  It’s also a great reminder that God is in control and will provide for our needs when it’s time.  I’ve had a hard time accepting this over the past year.  And I’m sure I’ll still struggle with it for a while, but I think I’m finally able to move forward.

I’ve tried to control everything in the past few months.  It’s not hard to do.  It’s also not hard to spiral out of control from it as well.  You spin in so many different directions, you don’t know which way you’re going or when/if you’ll ever stop spinning.  It takes a toll on your mental, physical, emotional and spiritual health.  I’ve probably gained about 45 pounds in the last 10 months.  I haven’t been to church in months; partially because of my control, partially because of the nature of my previous job.  I’ve been happy, sad, and angry.  Mostly the latter two.  But I’m ready to stop taking control.  I’m ready to let go of the hurt that is holding me back.  It’s time to let God take over and provide when it’s time.

I’m lucky to have a great partner to go through this with me.  Eric is my rock and is willing to listen, talk, be still and hold me.  Whatever I need, he’s willing to do.  And it doesn’t hurt to have a cute little puppy dog to snuggle with and rub his ears.  I don’t say thank you enough for all Eric does for me!  So thanks, honey!  I love you!!!!

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