Archive | July, 2012

A rainy sort of day

24 Jul

It’s raining today.  Yippee!  This is only the second time we’ve had a good rain since we’ve moved to Wisconsin.  The grass is turning green; the air has that wonderful rain smell.  It’s a great day to have the windows open and listen to the rain drop onto the leaves and the birds sing a happy song.  It’s also a great reminder that God is in control and will provide for our needs when it’s time.  I’ve had a hard time accepting this over the past year.  And I’m sure I’ll still struggle with it for a while, but I think I’m finally able to move forward.

I’ve tried to control everything in the past few months.  It’s not hard to do.  It’s also not hard to spiral out of control from it as well.  You spin in so many different directions, you don’t know which way you’re going or when/if you’ll ever stop spinning.  It takes a toll on your mental, physical, emotional and spiritual health.  I’ve probably gained about 45 pounds in the last 10 months.  I haven’t been to church in months; partially because of my control, partially because of the nature of my previous job.  I’ve been happy, sad, and angry.  Mostly the latter two.  But I’m ready to stop taking control.  I’m ready to let go of the hurt that is holding me back.  It’s time to let God take over and provide when it’s time.

I’m lucky to have a great partner to go through this with me.  Eric is my rock and is willing to listen, talk, be still and hold me.  Whatever I need, he’s willing to do.  And it doesn’t hurt to have a cute little puppy dog to snuggle with and rub his ears.  I don’t say thank you enough for all Eric does for me!  So thanks, honey!  I love you!!!!

Unexpected

11 Jul

Have you ever felt like everything you expected to happen didn’t?  I’ve been in that boat for the last week or so.  And it seems the boat just kept spinning and I was about ready to throw up.  But we’re getting back on track and the motion sickness is easing.

When we made the decision to leave Idaho, there were so many expectations of what would happen.  Eric and I would get to spend more time together. I’d get to take the summer off and figure out what the next steps were.  I’d be able to read and sew and craft and bake.  We’d get new furniture and decorate the house the way we want.

Some of these expectations were reasonable.  Eric and I do spend more time together.  I am taking the summer off.  Some of these expectations are a little less attainable at this time.  We can’t just go out and buy new furniture.  We need money for that – so here’s to saving pennies!

There have also been un-expectations.  I didn’t think I’d miss Idaho as much as I do.  The beautiful lake and mountains.  The national forest.  The job of serving.  But it’s the people I miss the most.  The guests who host their family reunions.  The summer staff who are always smiling.  The co-workers who are also neighbors and good friends.  The babies being born.  The endless games of Settlers of Catan.  It’s these things that made Idaho great!  It’s these things that bring tears to my eyes.  I expected to miss Idaho, but not to the extent I do.  But it’s good to know there will always be people there who love us and who we love.  It will always be home.

And now it’s time to make a new home.  A new place to love.  It helps when it’s a place we feel called to be.  Where I feel called to be.  So here’s to new adventures and letting expectations grow and change!

Jenny Noelle

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